Overtolerance in Relationships - 4 Signs You Might Be Tolerant of Too Much in Your Relationship by Shannon E Cook

Relationships require work, commitment, and mutual respect to be mutually fulfilling and satisfying to both parties. If the individuals involved are emotionally stable and relatively healthy, this type of relationship is quite possible. However, there are relationships where the dynamic is unbalanced and one partner does more of the "giving" while the other does more "taking." In these cases, one partner may have a consuming personal issue like addiction or an abusive personality that causes bad behavior, and the other partner may tolerate destructive actions, thereby enabling the bad behavior to continue. Having loose or absent "boundaries," or lines in the sand on what can be tolerated is often a problem in these types of relationships. Here are 4 signs you might be too tolerant in your relationship:

1. You might deny or rationalize your partner's bad behavior to yourself. Denial is a powerful tool we often use to maintain a status quo that is unhealthy for us. You might be looking at other, more extreme situations and saying, "Well, at least he or she doesn't do THAT." Unfortunately, comparing two negative things doesn't make your partner's actions any less damaging or acceptable.

2. You might hide, conceal, or make excuses about your partner's behavior to others. You might feel compelled to protect your partner's reputation, but also your own. Often there is shame involved in admitting what you are putting up with to others. You might find yourself trying to cover for your partner if he or she shirks responsibility. This does not help either you or your partner, as your partner learns quickly that you will bail him or her out and you start getting resentful over being taken advantage of.

3. You might feel as if you can't possibly survive without this person in your life. Any relationship may feel more comfortable than none, so you may drop controversial topics for fear of rocking the boat. You may also let go of ultimatums and fail to follow through.

4. You might also believe that you are responsible for your partner's ultimate well being, and that he or she cannot possibly go on without you there to rescue and care for him or her. You may feel a strong sense of guilt over what your partner might do if you aren't there, and this creates a feeling of obligation to stay.

By the way, what is holding you back from making the best choices to achieve the life you deserve?

For a free copy of my ebook, "Strategies For Escaping Emotional Abuse", click here: http://www.stoptoxicrelationships.com/gifts-strategiesforescapingemotionalabuse.html

Shannon Cook is a personal coach and resource guide who has written a number of informative articles and ebooks on the topic of toxic relationships and "difficult" divorces, including the physical, emotional, practical and relationship components.

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